30 miles/hour

I wish I had my hair coloured with watery pastels
and black as a raven, wings as blinks of a night
and those sunset coloured whispers
as the car symbols for the freedom
and me laughing on it's ride

My summer´s almost gone and it waves with a thunder
and a grey, moist asphalt
Don´t get me wrong, I´ve always loved the rain
and the weird wind, trying to scare us to think
that the autumn is falling on us

Only few people are walking on the street, and those who are,
have already forgotten how to swim in the laughing sea
They colour themselves in dim, matching to the asphalt,
and I wonder do they feel the same way as I do
Do they think they don´t have any time left?
Are they waiting for the weekend?

I tried to take some photos and pictures,
but most of all I wanted to write a lot
and I am disappointed in myself for not trying any harder
I´ve just waited, lying, watching the waves as hours
Blues, blacks, greys, browns, even some greens
Sometimes and that´s a lot of times,
I wonder do they notice me

I am an average, but my dreams are high
They are hard to catch and sometimes, which is a lot of times,
I think to myself are they even forth it
Thinking how nice a bright green car looks like
Thinking that pink trousers do not cover up the boring beige coat
Ennui

And I love those little birds,
sparrows bathing in small puddles
and the thoughts of seagulls nesting
and the rapid steps of a madman
and the pleased smile of a corgi dog

It´s 30 miles / hour
but there´s dancing and a mystical office,
places I´m not allowed to see,
apartments where heads have been cooked and
a solid rock to spend sunny evenings on

I´m thinking more than I´m dreaming
and I spend a lifetime on watching
I want my hair to be golden
but right now I´m happy with my eyes
They look whatever they like
and they photoghraph every bite
Click and roll
It´s in my mind

I really liked this morning

I´ll take my time
and I´ll write that letter
But before all that
I want to feel a little bit better
Like this morning
And I like this morning
when I can wake up whenever I like
Look from the window
stare at the screen
Watch some movies
Brush my teeth
Kiss your cheek
Float in between

And I like that you like it
I like to be silent
I feel for you, babe,
but I can´t always be like that
I have this need to be happy
without any goals
I´m going to take my time
Take a trip,
drink some wine
Don´t want to wait in line
Stand tall,
still high
Not always asking why,
who´s going to die,
who´s living my life
Always that one step behind

But just like this morning
while waiting for something
I´ll start tapping the keys
trying to think of what to dream
or should I just dream the dream
or hunt it down
While I´m in the town
Shouldn´t I live, not frown
I stared at my forehead
somehow I started
Thinking how young I am
and still got wrinkles
My mind still tinkles
I really loved the movie Singles
so maybe something´s there
Now how did I get here?

I mean I should watch these thoughts float
just like in a boat
watching the sky
while the clouds glide by
Shouldn´t hang on those,
shouldn´t grab them,
but just let them go
I should already know
but there´s too much to think
Too much to see,
things I can sink in
things I can´t win
Places I haven´t been in
and places to dream
So here I go again
Again I´m in between

Thinking
Should I let go
or just leave
There´s countries out there
I haven´t seen
Different clouds to grab
but the sky´s still the same
People who don´t know my name,
they don´t know am I lame or
should I be tamed
Start all over
Find someone to understand
But who can do that
if even she can´t?
Maybe the problem here
is the past
So if I wouldn´t have that
I could turn my back
Have all that

All that I dreamt of
Everything this morning
I should break myself free and
watch some old movies
Do this
Make them believe it
Feel it
Just like in a concert
Wave the hair and hands,
do it for me
I don´t need the hate
nor glory
But I need to walk this path
alone or then you come with me
but then you need to hear me
Feel me
Don´t just roll your eyes
thinking you know me
Know the reasons,
but don´t see me

So once again
I went too far
maybe gave too little
or bursted out too much
I need to learn to ride my mind
Write my own stories
just the right kind
And just as I said
I can´t continue to wait in line
My turn already came
but the ticket´s the thing I can´t find
Maybe it´s ´cause I changed my mind
too many times
Looked everywhere,
afraid to look behind
I bet it´s there
and that´s just fine
I´ll take a new turn
Or maybe
I´ll just take a hike