perjantai 23. tammikuuta 2015

Games in 1993 Mode

He said:
"You don´t need to do it right
as long as you do something"
I grind my teeth and bite my lip
He makes me crazy though I shouldn´t give a shit
but I want him to walk with me
Before the Sun gets up,
before his eyes are shut,
before I need to wake up

I have curls in my hair
and lips painted as a bundle of dried roses
waiting to rise up to life
I coloured them without a smile
Thinking how he said
"you looked a lot better
when you didn´t look that way"
He left me wonder something clever to say

And I love to swing, whirl and spin,
make myself invisible again
Blow some kisses that mean nothing
Say goodbyes without feeling a thing
I have my dices just as you have yours
and the aces where my place is
Wherever I lay my head, they might say,
rootless bitch,
haven´t felt home sick in a while
and right now my home is this

He laid his lips too close to my neck,
said: "I want to feel your breath"
but I knew he was just in a need of a ride,
and I was in the right place at the right time
So I said I need to get my dreams in line
and I think you are ready to step behind"
He looked at me like he looked at his mother
when he was 14 and in need of a lover,
thinking "I´m gonna show you in a way or another,
I´m the one who makes the decisions
and you´re not in the place to decide for me"

I let him smell my skin and dance with me
thinking that´s something that sets me free
He said he likes to spin with me
and listen to the songs of 1993
But little did he know those songs make me cry
I forced to close my eyes good and
pressed myself to get blind
"my eyes get bright when I see you lie"
He didn´t hear me and that´s just fine

I´ll be choosing my dress real precise this night,
make my hair so pretty and my eyes real wide
I´ve rehearsed my lines and to be a simple kind,
simple kind of a girl, just right
So he´d say "you´re the one and only one
and the right one so let´s have fun"
I might stagger and waver,
ask him to hold me and forget her
The one with lips as pine flowers,
hair as the sundown in LA

I wait him to smell my hair and compliment my dress
as he always does in the end,
as he always pays me the night well spent
And when he finally says something real
I shut down ´cause I hear him speak
Short he´s real and not enough for me
but for the first time I really see him,
saying "I was lost in the fire last time
and I´m afraid to feel
´cause my skin still hurts"
and I know he means his mind
because life and love might burn

I look at his face and he makes me sad,
thinking he´s still 14 and he´s still mad
He just wants a ride back home
and I was there at the right time and alone
He doesn´t even like the colour of my dress,
my skin´s too pale and my lips too dark
But for me everything else is less
and I like mornings better with it
My armour of lies is better than the defect

By the morning time I have cleared my mind
I can listen to the sad songs of 1993
Strip down and breathe
Fix him off from my dreams,
him saying:
"I didn´t like your feather earrings for real"
and I´m thinking,
"well fuck you, then, and fuck your
pine flower lipped dream"
But, of course, my dreams are new next week

He said:
"If I could choose I´d be free
not with anyone else but me
without any burn marks and hurt
without my girl with LA hair and
maybe your red dress turned into skirt
on my pine wooded bedroom floor"