maanantai 22. toukokuuta 2017

Haunted Down

Don´t mind me
I´m just passing through
You can get in front of the line
if that´s what you want to do

You didn´t mind me
If you did you would´ve asked
You wanted to be the first
I never wanted to be your last

I got so tired of trying
though I didn´t understand I never had to
I didn´t understand the point of lying
and just realised I didn´t see what was true
Just saying
I always wanted it to last

The fool´s on me, I know
I thought seeing you sad meant you didn´t want to let go
Maybe you always wanted to leave
but you didn´t want it to show
I´d give anything to wipe your tears once more
and just let you know
You were the one
and you will be forever more

I know there were reasons
why we are now here like this
Feeling down and pointless
Small, sad and ruthless
You being the only one
who´d take my hand and say
it doesn´t have to be like this

If I close my eyes,
will you whisper?
If I fall asleep,
will you kiss me?
If I let go,
will you catch me
like you never said you would

Don´t mind me
I´m just passing through
You can get in front of the line
if that´s what you want to do

I´m just looking anyway
if there´s something special for me
But I will ramble on
after seeing all I have to see

I´m tired
I´m tired of making any offers
I´m wired
I feel I´m on the edge all of the time
So I´m taking time, counting memories
dissapointed with the humanity
Feeling betrayed by love,
by hate and all that´s around me

I told you once or twice at least
I´m dark inside and in killing spree
If you cut my heart, I would cut you
never thought I first had to cut my self free

But if I close my eyes,
will you hear me?
If I´ll never wake up,
will you fear me?
If I let go,
I don´t need to be cathed by
I don´t need to be saved
´cause I´ll haunt you down

maanantai 14. marraskuuta 2016


I´m a fool
and I love him

I captured, got
and I lost him

I have nightmares on Mondays
and his hair doesn´t smell like it should
I´m haunted or maybe just scared

I have a yellow summer dress somewhere
I´m dreaming of autumns when I´m afraid
Last time was meant to be for good
but I keep on forgetting

There was touches and fingers gliding
Deep breathing and long gazes
Too many thoughts and too much words
Songs that didn´t mean anything after all

I´m a fool
but I love him

I looked, waved
and I miss him

I wonder where this all comes from
and realize the butterflies may be moths
I´m crazy or maybe just lost

I have songs played on repeat if I want to
I´m drinking red wine in case of emergencies
Late nights used to be for dreaming
but one time my eyes opened up

My old couch gathered up friends and memories
Rumours and poetry
Make up, hand jobs and cruelty
Songs that didn´t mean anything after all

I´m a fool
I betrayed them

I smiled, danced
and forgot them

These songs of weddings and tears,
getting married and buried
I´m fun only when I´m dancing, eyes shut

I have stories I´m too afraid to tell
I have memories I remember too well
I could have words if I wanted to burn in hell
and I´m worried if I don´t have a soul to sell

I have trips and tours behind me and on my mind
I have unicorns and velvet jungles no one can find
I have houses and babies and white fences
and I´m most afraid I don´t have enough time

I´ve been too afraid to watch some shows
and a bit too scared to listen some songs
It seems to be too hard for me to let go
and too difficult to trust anyone I know

I´m a fool
but I love him

I choose, I want
and I need him

I wonder what happens if I let myself be,
choose to dance and live wild and breathe
Write my stories untold, set them free
Believe in all of the you love me's

What if I´m a fool
and happy to say
I got loved
the best possible way

keskiviikko 23. maaliskuuta 2016

Maybe I´m going to Rome

Maybe I´m going crazy
or just staying insane
I can´t keep you out of my mind
and I can´t forget your face
Your way of loving me
moves me time to time
My ways of losing you
is all I have sometimes

Maybe you are the one
with your striped shirt on
and your finger in my mouth
Maybe you´re just a passer by
with just as chapped lips as mine
The cuts will heal in time

We can´t be the only ones
there must´ve been true love before
All my life I´ve been waiting
but now I feel it´s long gone
Maybe I´m just crazy
not to keep you for a fool

It´s been years since I last did this
and I keep on going back in time
I remember the way you looked
when you looked at me for the first time
Maybe it wasn´t just a moment,
maybe it started a life time

Maybe I´m going crazy
or just keeping myself insane
Maybe you´re not the one,
maybe you´re just a game
Your way of kissing me
is the best way of saying take care
Your way of looking at me
says all and nothing, it´s fair

You don´t need to tell me lies
and I don´t need to act surprised
You don´t know sometimes I lose my mind
and lately it´s been lost to you
So fuck all that´s right and mind
I need to have the right to stay true

I´ve lost myself to you,
my mind is inside of you
my heart got stuck
in the sole of your shoe
I must be going crazy
to think I don´t need you
´cause I already know
your going to give me the blues

I may be sitting on this table
writing and crying away
But I need to see it coming
and I´m just not going to wait
If I don´t have you
I´m going to have this coffee cup of mine
and if I won´t have you
I have the next one waiting in line

Maybe I´m going crazy
or just wishing to stay sane
But I feel like there´s nothing
that could kill off this flame
I keep going back in time
to visit you my friend
and if it´s meant to be
you will look at me the same way


I know our seconds have felt like decades
and I don´t even know do I have anything more to say
I guess your words are lost in the sea
and I keep on forgetting too easily

What is there tomorrow
if I start gambling today
I keep counting the moments and
I can´t keep the numbers straight

I don´t know could you change my mind
but I know I can´t play against the time
I feel like I have all the cards but
never a full hand or a winning line

I don´t know which of these feelings I feel most
and I feel like a fraud for quite a good reason
I know I´ve made promises and I think I believed them
but lately I´ve felt like I need to run

I know I may not win anything
I know I may break everything
But I don´t even know who I am
maybe I need to feel what it´s like to get broken
I just want to do it without breaking a thing

I am lost and I feel like I need to save my self
I feel I´m running miles everyday
Maybe it doesn´t change to anything better
but I feel like I can´t keep fooling us this way

And it´s nobody´s fault but mine
I feel like I can´t keep losing more time
or more of my mind
Maybe this is the way I´ll lose it all but
I know I need to look so I could find

Turned into a Witch

Who am I
and who do I kid
when I keep on pretending
yet do not know shit
I want you to want me
ask me who am I
But I can´t look inside you
´cause I can´t tell the truth from lie

You are my only one
even when you´re not alone
You know I´ve got company
and I´m not always at home
I don´t know who I should be
or who I´m meant to be with
But I do know I was supposed to
turn into this witch

Turn into this witch

Who are you
to turn me into this
to make me love your arms
and your stupid shit
I need to remember these nights
so I´ll never get cold
But we can´t ever promise
that we won´t get old
We won´t

I got a bad reputation
because I wanted to fly
I know they look at me differently
when I wave them goodbye
They don´t know why I´ve turned into
turned into this bitch
But I will tell you, baby,
I was always meant to be a witch

Since I was 10
and dreamt of a kiss
I was meant to be a witch
Since the yellow meadows
and the summer bliss
I was meant to be a witch
Since the long walks to home
and the rules I missed
I was meant to be a witch

Who am I
to feel this way
Like I have an option
to be happier another way
And who are you
to show me love
When I´m the lowest
and in need of a fall

You are the only one
I tell these lies
It makes you special,
it makes me vile
But since 1996
I was meant to be a witch
and I didn´t believe this
until I found out I didn´t sink
I turned into this witch

Since I was 10
and dreamt of a kiss
I was meant to be a witch
Since the yellow meadows
and the summer bliss
I was meant to be a witch
Since the long walks to home
and the rules I missed
I was meant to be a witch

sunnuntai 28. helmikuuta 2016

Make Me Real

Do you want to see all the shining black cars with me
and drive down the parkway to the beach
and can you imagine me and you walking down the shore
I´ve always thought you wouldn´t have no boots on
and you´re footprints would tell the long story short
as the waves wiped them and blurred out the marks
You once told me the change was gonna come
and I didn´t believe you until the steps were long gone

Do you want to make me real?

Do you want to swim with me to the rock in the horizon
and plan to swim back by night
and could you stay there if I asked you to
if our warm bodies could save us some time
I´ve always imagined you walking bare foot
and driving the car with black leather boots
But most importantly I never thought I could lose
Lose myself in you
You once told me the change was gonna come
and I believed the moon more than I believed you

Do you want to make me real?

Do you believe me if I say I´ve listened to your heart beats
while you were sleeping, while you were dreaming
I´ve touched your skin in my dreams
and watched you live and believing in me
I always wanted to be real
and you were the only one to hear me weep
in the old rooms, warm afternoons
I was almost close enough for you to feel
but in the end you needed to see me

If you want to make me real
come to the beach and drive me down the streets
I´ll stay in your rear view mirror if you need me,
keep you safe while you drive through the night
If you want to make me real
look for me in the streets, cold mirrors and city lights
I´ll wait for you in your bed at night
Even though you´ll find just the cold sheets

If you want to make me real
believe in me and call my name
When you´re feeling lonely, imagine you can see me
in this summer dress you chose for me
If you want to make me real
remember your promises you made when I was alive
remember that even a ghost can feel
If you really believe in me,
swim the warm summer thrills towards me
You know I´ve loved you since the beginning
and for that I don´t need to live

Sometimes I´m afraid to die
´til I remember I already had my time
And then I´m scared of losing you
´cause if you let me go I´ll stay lost in you
So I wish you to make me real,
to have footprints just like you

maanantai 15. helmikuuta 2016

Turned into Cinder

We thought we had it,
we already got so close
We got the vine in our hands
and forgot it wasn´t a rope
I caught you sleeping,
you got me naked
We didn´t have the time as we thought

We don´t even know what we want
even though we say all the I want you´s
The dark gets us everytime
howling at the moon
as the light has gotten quicker
it turns us into fools

I just want you to say
you won´t ever forget me
you won´t ever
you won´t ever
you won´t ever forget me

How many times have we done the same mistakes?
Really, count them, count them now
How many times have I whispered your name
while watching you wave
while watching the planes
while watching his heart break

How many times have we closed the last page?
The sheets thrown out and away
How many times have you closed my eyes to say
start making up your mind
start building up your life
start to live to be mine

You just want me to say
you are not alone
you are not
you are not
you are not alone

Please let me know when to come back home
I need somebody to guide me as you need someone to call your own
Please let me move on towards the light
I need somebody to fool me the future´s always bright
You have been a dream I lost
You have been a beast to get caught
You have been too much to me
and I have turned into cinder these days
I have turned into cinder
I have turned into cinder
I have turned

I just want you to say
you won´t ever forget me
you won´t ever
you won´t ever
you won´t ever forget me

How long will it take to stop feeling a thing?
Really, how many days?
How long will it take to stop liking this game
which will never be won
which will never be played alone
which won´t end before someone breaks

How long can someone walk on home?
One step forward and at least three back
How many steps can be taken alone
without saying it´s too cold
without saying I told you so
without saying I need to let you go

You just want me to say
you are not alone
you are not
you are not
you are not alone

I thought I got you
You told me I was a fool
As more you dripped between my fingers
the more I thought I wanted you
I caught you sleeping
and lost you to the planes
So you never saw me,
sometimes just called my name
I kept telling myself it´s fine
´cause my memories kept me sane
You have been too much to me
and I have turned into cinder these days
I have turned into cinder
I have turned into cinder
I have turned

maanantai 7. joulukuuta 2015

It doesn´t give us Sixes

Who is it
who knocks on your door?
Who says you don´t need it
but makes you want more
It has yellow eyes and serpent thighs,
it lingers through your fingers
as quick sand and silver
It smells your weakness and
gropes you by it
It´s lips plead your virtue
and licks your skin wet
It makes you sour and it makes me high
It tricks us the power to roll the dice
It doesn´t give us sixes, it always stops at five
but it´s the room for satisfaction
that time to time, makes us thrive

It sounds like 1993 as it yearns for you and me
It has a thirst that´s infinite
and it always buys the drinks for free
Though it´s never on the house,
at the latest the ice makes us bleed
It makes you sleep and comforts you in need
It gives you the hand and then smacks you on it´s feet
We confuse it with love but it´s just blood and meat
It doesn´t take us for granted
it just takes us, and that´s it

It whispers:

"You know you don´t want me
I know I don´t need you
But it´s nice to meet you
and kill you slowly
I´m the serpent
and I´m the wasteland
I´m your fate and I´m your dreamland
I´ll dance you wet and kiss you to death
I´m the one for you
and you´re my number one pet"

So who is it
who calls you at 3.16?
It reminds you of it
and you can´t go back to sleep
You don´t worry what it could do to you and me
You worry you won´t be missed or missed out on,
´cause you want to be the one to leave
You want to be the one to mean something
and believe when it breathes it´s lies to your ear
You want to be it´s only, the one and only
and listen to the songs together, feeling lonely
You try to deny that you´ve heard it´s invite
and for the next couple of lives
you pretend to forget it´s right
You belong to it
and it belongs in you
It´s the song you can´t forget
and it´s the one that´s playing you

maanantai 26. lokakuuta 2015

The Canyon

I want to get drowned
in the canyon,
get lost in the wilderness
sometimes all I want is
to get lost in my own head
by myself
on my own
Heartbreaking suffocation
Coughing up the sand and tears
What a fucked up situation
I got tangled in my own web of fears

The other night I dreamt a dream of you
Yesterday I couldn´t figure out if it was true
I can´t remember your face when I´m down
I guess it´s ´cause you dont´t want to be found
You´ve grown so deep inside of me
that I can´t tell the difference between
You´re like the song I hear in my sleep
and awake I´m just moving my lips

I want to scream in to the canyon
that I want to drown in my sleep

I don´t want to get lost between the lines
I don´t need you to read me
When I close my eyes I just
I just hope that something breaks me
Something without a name, something un-known
Something that makes me cinder and bones
These dreams make me hate the reality
that tries to force me to make up my mind

I want to get drowned
in the forest,
sleep forever on the hummocks
Freeze to death so sweetly,
´cause all I really want is
to be left alone
without a home
Heartbreaking conclusion
Sinking in the dead leafs and tears
What a fucked up termination
to rot so slowly without any boldness
Isn´t it my dear?

The other night I didn´t know what kind of dreams
I was made to play
All I knew and all I still do is that
in my dreams I´m a stray
I´m so easy
and I don´t know what I want
Two bloods inside of me
struggling to get their parts

I want to scream in to the canyon
that I want to drown in the sand
I want the wind to cover me up
so I keep on dreaming of a helping hand
I could be one with the snakes, lizards and time
and my story could be a big old lie
You could be one with the engines, gasoline and fire
and your story could be buried with mine

sunnuntai 11. lokakuuta 2015

Shattered Shells

Do you have anything to say?
Is it really going to be played this way,
you denying all that was there
me trying to show you something´s still here
We just won´t win
´cause it wasn´t meant to be

You were not meant to see inside of me
and I wasn´t a part of your plan to flee
We got caught in the waves
and the sea just got too deep
We were meant to lose
´cause we didn´t know what winning means

Isn´t this a foolish game to lose out at,
no rewards or stakes to win back
You got the closest to a prize I longed for
but you´ll never know why I felt that
You are never going to know the truth
You will never get even close

I´ve written our stories in the night sky
I´ve played all my cards quite right
as right as I could´ve in this state of mind
Do you have anything to say?
It seems like you don´t care that I got tired to play
One step forward, two back, closer to the grave

The salt of the sea burns our eyes
It´s like the sea wants to see us cry
Burning, aching, wanting to change our minds
It chokes and strangles
until we´re still and our heartbeats are bind
We´ll get lost in the sea
just as anyone else who´s like you or me

Your touch was so gentle
and so hard to leave behind
Through the power of the waves and water
the strenght could´ve kept us as one
But it was clear we were never meant to be
when the strain of a surge broke us in parts
So we were, just as before,
only two shattered shells so very lost