maanantai 22. toukokuuta 2017

Haunted Down



Don´t mind me
I´m just passing through
You can get in front of the line
if that´s what you want to do

You didn´t mind me
If you did you would´ve asked
You wanted to be the first
I never wanted to be your last

I got so tired of trying
though I didn´t understand I never had to
I didn´t understand the point of lying
and just realised I didn´t see what was true
Just saying
I always wanted it to last

The fool´s on me, I know
I thought seeing you sad meant you didn´t want to let go
Maybe you always wanted to leave
but you didn´t want it to show
I´d give anything to wipe your tears once more
and just let you know
You were the one
and you will be forever more

I know there were reasons
why we are now here like this
Feeling down and pointless
Small, sad and ruthless
You being the only one
who´d take my hand and say
it doesn´t have to be like this

If I close my eyes,
will you whisper?
If I fall asleep,
will you kiss me?
If I let go,
will you catch me
like you never said you would

Don´t mind me
I´m just passing through
You can get in front of the line
if that´s what you want to do

I´m just looking anyway
if there´s something special for me
But I will ramble on
after seeing all I have to see

I´m tired
I´m tired of making any offers
I´m wired
I feel I´m on the edge all of the time
So I´m taking time, counting memories
dissapointed with the humanity
Feeling betrayed by love,
by hate and all that´s around me

I told you once or twice at least
I´m dark inside and in killing spree
If you cut my heart, I would cut you
never thought I first had to cut my self free

But if I close my eyes,
will you hear me?
If I´ll never wake up,
will you fear me?
If I let go,
I don´t need to be cathed by
I don´t need to be saved
´cause I´ll haunt you down


3 kommenttia:

  1. Dammit. I don't want to dampen the fine summer mood with yet another martyrous tirade -- but it seems all I'm capable of is those kind of songs.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nAON-MwUPY
    (Siouxsie and the Banshees -- The Passenger)
    (I wish I could write something like this! I prefer this to Iggy's original.)

    I'll be spending a month cycling down the Swedish coast, starting tomorrow. Who knows, maybe I'll finally meet some coy maiden with a face of strawberry shape,
    storms of freckles sprinkled on, who'll make us a pile of delicious saffron *pannkakor* o ha *jättekul* o *jättefin* me mig, staring at the sea and the slow sunset. Heaven knows it's too long overdue.

    Regardless, I will try and write *something* on that journey. A brightened, sharpened memory -- yet mellow like a summer breeze (a *Swedish* one, at any rate :p). If it doesn't come to me, then it won't. You know how songs can be, having written down so many yourself. They are like love in that he who gives chase will lose what little he had in the first place, while the one who waits with patience will soon have a boundless plenty. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson in 32 years, but then, as was said in a Wong Kar-Wai movie, life would be boring without regrets.

    I've never been sorry for going on a trip though. Well, maybe on 1 in 10 trips. But even then trouble + time = adventure; nostalgia can conquer almost anything. Anyway it seems to me it's never a good time to leave, but it's always the right time. Funny how that works.

    If you like cycling, S., as it seems, you should try longer trips sometime (assuming you don't already do them). After a few days of cycling 70 km / day, the body gives up its rebellion and it starts to feel like business as usual. There's no magic trick to it -- just a lot of patience. And the best part is you can eat absolutely anything you like (read: chocolate), as much as you like, at any time. Bliss. ^^

    Well. I'm rambling, as I was put on this Earth to do. It's the flip-side of my basic definition. The first side, of course, is taking the first idea that comes to mind and running with it, building a whole elaborate narrative on extremely flimsy premises. This is why I was so dark in my last letter to E. As I said, I'll try to write some brighter stuff next time, if I can only manage it.

    Take care in your wanders, even as I try to be more careless. And merry Midsummer dreams.

    -v.

    VastaaPoista
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKo5lsGu8zI
    (Slowgold -- Korta Sommar)
    (Let's hope for a long and blazin' hot summer! ^^ Well -- eventually...)

    P.S.

    If you want some perfect summer reading, consider this book:

    Håkan Nesser -- Kim Novak ei uinut Gennesaretin järvessä.

    It's just as intriguing as it sounds, containing a world in every spare,
    laconic sentence.

    I wrote earlier about it:

    Tuon kirjan lukeminen on kuin hyppäisi laiturilta pimeään järveen; ensin kylmä pistos, sitten kelluttavaa lämpöä. Se on suloisen haikea kuin yläasteen päättäjäiset, tai kuin syksyn lehti keväällä (Marissa laulaa tästä, hm)...

    Kirja on tavallaan dekkari, mutta ei kuitenkaan. Murhamysteeri on oikeastaan sivuosassa hienovireisen romantiikan ottaessa pääroolin. Tai vähäeleisen, oikeammin ilmaistuna. Nesserin lause on kuin vasaranisku päälakeen kesäöisellä mökkitiellä: vaikuttaa välittömästi peruuttamattomalla tavalla. :)

    Vähän niinkuin erään tytön hymy ja halaus ja vähän kaikki muukin... Mutta se on jo toinen tarina. Hm, hm.

    Toinen vinkki olisi Selma Lagerlöfin 'Gösta Berlingin taru'. En ole vielä itse kuin selaillut, mutta luulen, että siinä voi olla kesä tai pari nätissä paketissa.

    P.P.S. Vai tienvarsikuvia sitä näpsitään... Ehkä jaksan polkea vielä loppukesästä. Ja onhan FLOW tulossa... ;o
    ... Kukkien nimet ovat sitten ihmeellisiä. Ikikuuruoho, kesäkuuruoho -- lunaria rediviva / annua... Kaunokainen, maahumala, jne ... Kukaan, joka keksii kukille nimiä, ei edes halua runoilijaksi, sillä siinä on jo tarpeeksi runoa. Parhaat runot syntyvät aina vahingossa, niinkuin muutkin kauniit asiat. Ja vasta KULUMINEN tekee asioista niin kauniita kuin ne voivat olla. 'Tis wear that makes things pretty. On kaunista kaivata sinua.

    VastaaPoista
  3. "Taivaan Sini Blues / Kesäheila"

    sinä oot kuin kesän kukka, kesän sydämeeni teit
    minä aina poika rukka, jonka sydämen sä veit
    oi oi, ja poika rukka, jonka sydämen sä veit

    ja sä oot kuin linnun laulu, jonka tuuli tänne toi
    sielusi kuuhullun taulu, jossa tähdet karkeloi
    hymyilet kuin aamurusko, syliisi käy päivänkoi

    ja sä oot kuin syksyn sauhu, kaiku kaihomaiden kai
    syvällä käy sussa pauhu, muuten oot kuin lauantai
    kitaran ja kaikki kielet sulta oma sieluin sai

    ja sä poltit asfaltin lailla myrskyjeni kyyneleet
    aina vierahilla mailla annoit keveät askeleet
    mut en tiedä mistä kiittää kun sä lähtemättä meet

    ja kun ilta yöksi hiipuu, olet liekki salainen
    sun kanssasi vain blues voi olla taivaansininen
    parantaa voit nekin haavat joita edes huomaa en

    ja sun sydämes on laiva, se on linna haurauden
    se on särkynyt ja kirkas, se on vapaa lentäen
    mutta kiinni vain ja aina ovat mulle portit sen

    kun en sydäntäini vailla sua tuntea mä voi
    se vaikka korvat huumaa, en tiedä mikä soi
    ellet tule nyt ja aina kun mun sydän vaikeroi

    sillä oot kuin kesän kukka, kesän sydämeeni teet
    minä aina poika rukka, jota piinaa perkeleet
    oi oi, ja poika rukka, kesän sydämeeni teet

    I suppose salvation can't be granted by other human beings; only comfort, and even then the coverage may vary. But it is a pretty song; yours now and forever. Best thing I ever wrote, even if it may bring forth only tears. Posting it makes me a great crook, but hey -- what else is new? Anything is allowed to beauty, as you know too well.

    I'll keep my head down at Flow. I've only got a ticket for the first day, anyways. My summer is already ruined since I had to cancel my trip; I don't want to ruin yours too with my ridiculous, desperate antics.

    There's really nothing more left to say, although I'm pretty sure I'll find a way to keep saying it all the same. I'm supposed to be long gone, and I'll try to assume that blessed state...

    Take care of yourself, hm (sometimes that means letting others do it for you).

    -v.

    P.S.

    You may have been right about the ash tree vs. hackberry tree flower after all: the hackberry blooms much later, and then only for a few days.

    VastaaPoista