sunnuntai 9. kesäkuuta 2013

Everyone on My Mind is in My Head

You think you get scared so very easily
Whenever something clacks you think it´s the door behind you
and though you´ll try to keep your cool
you wait for the night when it´s dark and cool
You´ll wait ´til your heartbeat levels down
and change your look and walking style
Just like someone would give a fuck or care anyway
So please, go on and walk away

But you know, you honey, just like the wrong kind of music
You wish you had my breathing recorded on your player,
tapes and casettes with my name all over them and
you came so close while trying to imagine what I sound like
and you came up with nothing,
nothing at all
So you started to invent things,
inhale my sweat, steal my things and
sleep with them in my old bed and
dream on Mondays when you should´ve gone to work

I might like you with that hat on,
but baby, that doesn´t make me love you and I,
I am very hard to please in a longer period of time
though it may have seemed like another deal
when I leaned on your arm on the dancefloor of that bar
and sat on the front seat of your car but I saw
that you´d got nothing for me, I saw that from far

You are not quite sure just what are you doing
I´m not quite sure are you even a human being
Because I saw you dancing and laughing yesterday
but your laughter sounded like a heartbreak to me
and your moves, can I even go there now,
well now honey, maybe you should slow down
Take it from me, your adversary

You can pretend all you want but I won´t give you any lies
even though your hands are all over your hips and thighs,
all over my man, my best friends or mine
You can rotate and whirl or spin and turn
and touch like no other and be the best mother fucker
and you know what, you should be better
´cause I count on the rumours being true about you

So you should stop coming on my way, stop
asking me why if you are not ready for the play
and I should be nicer and stop depending on the dice
and live my own life and we should grow some
balls and some spine and I should stop
faking my smiles and you should stop liking them so much
´cause lately I´ve been disgusted by you
and that´s a lot

You get so scared so very easily but the hardest part
is to follow your dreams and you think it´s me
who to blame or who you want to see,
whose dreams you have dreamed or who´s on
your way to fantasies and I´ll give you all the time
if you let go of mine and what belongs to me
is inside of my head and me,
I´m not too easy to please so I´ll ask
one more nicely, please,
let go of my dreams

8 kommenttia:

  1. My dearest darlin E.i thought u knew me by now. ur shit is just as holy as anythin else;its ur relentless mind-games that i fear.ur vicious as well as sweet--but i could only ever see the sweet side of u.therefore any relations we might have--for one nite or ten-thousand--would end up wreckin me heart&soul,not to mention ol' head on top & lil twins down u see i wonder in skirt-filled bouncy-breast nite whether its worth it to be wrecked by the madness of u.we'll see--an u make ur decisions too. --In Jkl now,stranded w/out hotel room.tried to bum @ K.'s but no answer.prolly moved away.anyway great nuclear clouds as i rolled in.lament not roamin north part of town in wild romance-days.major attack of nostalgia--never shouldve left.glad i got coat from parents @ Alajärvi--chilly nite&rain. --End transmission.u ladies can play ur games;maestro'll tend to urgent buyin new shades&cowboy hat.saw 1 for 6,90 @ gas-station.shoulda bought but thought too plastic too & i like it. -V. the queer night-fiend P.S. heed ms Rey's divine command: Youtube: "every man gets his wish". dont u just luv the way she sings 'tschampagne-glasse-ehs!' at the end? Ur soul is in that phrase, E.get mad at truths all u want.

  2. Stranded in rain 'gain w/ j.k.his book may b a labor of love but it is a bore to read.i much prefer the real thing when it comes to travel.--Q:what tastes better than a liter of vanilla icecream w/ fist-sized belgian strawberries & crushed chocolate-disk after 82 km ride w/ no meals to speak of? Ur lips,E.?i dare doubt somewhere that eatin ch.late gives more endorphine than kissing.maybe them professors be merely bad kissers.otherwise i might accept a few more pounds&end this charade right now.--Damn rain THIS near ruined the tickets,too--by 'this' i mean if i were a scrupulous clerk-which r never in short supply-i might in all actuality not accept them.wouldnt that b a hoot now! U showin up & us not gettin in! xD id tear the fence down&go to jail. --Ive started lookin u know.i saw Sweet Life smile at me thru hooded shades on bus-stop on the way in(at Lahti now).was outta my league tho.then at local K-mart the cahier exhibited the proper properties.she was sad in a beautiful way,or the other way around,w/ an air of tired radiance & voice like smthng i cant describe-rarity-but like very much. --'like v much'.is that enough?must it b?thing is,dear,madness or not,havent seen none whose skirt would sway or breast would heave like urs.not even close.ur mad grace from heel to head babe;from pot to flowery top.--im sure theres ppl out there as wonderful as u but in this country,3 or will i find'em? No chance.mad tragedy if settle for less--seen it too many times to bother.still mad tragedy if find-but worth it. when fate throws a bone @ u u gotta grab it.the one thing i regret is not acting that night.that nite was made of dai-nah-might babe.i know it,u know it,thats all there is to it.

  3. Btw u r a sport for not clampin down on ur blog in face of my mad rants S.Extreme modern chick;E. picks her friends did u 2 meet anyway?exchanging pacifiers @ the local maternity ward? Talk to me babe,or do u take ur orders from sullen pout-mouth E.? How mad do u find me,on a scale of 1-100? 58? 97? --i must say whoever these songs r really inspired by is a lucky fella.i admire the vast wilderness of ur great dark mind,shinin like a car-hood in the rain-hot night--amid palms & lightnin.who knows babe w/ twists of fate we might write a grand sinister 'merican road-movie together.stranger things have happened. Feels appropriate somehow to quote a mystical dream-song i got a few months back: "REFRAIN: if u live,if u live/ take a cat stand/ if u live,if u live/u'll b demoted; take a cat stand/ 11 high ones at order/ 'fore the Father and Son/ 11 souls on the border/ in sweet Albion/ (REFRAIN) 11 seas kiss the beaches/ 'neath the thunder and sun/ u better hear what they teaches/ in sweet Albion/ (REFRAIN x 2) (music)" If we never meet in this world - both of u - ill see u in sweet Albion.There b no sins there,altho many sinners. -V. the mad pilgrim P.S. Just realized this about E.'s poem:shouldnt it b the woman who asks for yhe cream? :D Or would that b too obvious.ah well.though ive wasted the best of my youth i wouldnt trade this life for anything. --life would b simpler if we could decide who to fall for,but far less wonderful.if it werent for social norms--now theres a sentence!--id go for my first cousin.shr just smiles&hums&understands w/ crushing tenderness. woul give both thumbs for a shower w/ the cleanin-boy,too--he had a face like an ancient rose&'cheeks' of a world-class rock-climber. --ill have u know E. that the sexiest part in u was,is & will ever b ur smile; tho i love flattery more than its targets it is a general rule & u r the Grand Exception to Everything.the saddest part--the cross on this hill--: u give ur best to friends already so the whole thing's unnecessary;monstrous,mad,fateful events & sorry as can b as agent w/ no free will. therell be a song & final ultimatum,then silence until Sept. when w/ God's rain will come the thing ill ever write;i double-dare ya not to read theres sad xylophphone music in leaf-green window & must go before i lose it. V. out.

  4. "Song come down / Love at last sight" Well here's to my lovely/ here's to the one/ here's to my blue sky/ and my midnight sun/ here is a prayer for your lonely heart/ for love at last sight will tear you apart/ Well here's to you darling/ and all that you are/ here's to the feeling/ when your near or far/ here's to you closing your eyes til i'm gone/ for love at last sight will have you undone/ I'm-a goin' away/ at the cross of the light/ i'll die if i'll stay/ for love at last sight/ i beg and i pray for your only heart/ for love at last sight will teaf it apart/ 'Tis a sin and a crime but it makes me happier to write this song than it would to live with you.thus i have no right regardless of chance. i will look for someone tomorrow.go safely with the Sad Delight of our Beaitiful Life & report in September--never good-bye,never disappear.if there be ghosts i'll be your sure to have an attic,and tell your little ones not to visit unless they want to get spooked. :) them sharing your spirit i'll have my spooking cut out for me tho. ah well.its all so very sad its perfect. -V. in Sweet Forever P.s. Youtube:Jennifer Warnes-Joan of Arc.won't regret it.well u never regret anything but anyway. if heard it then maybe Rubettes - Sugar Baby Love.Nothin like blastin down fells of Lapland @ 50 km/h with that on repeat.well--short of leanin back on the tandem mid-fell and... but i sure u'll forgive me;it is a habit--THE habit of mine.

  5. Talk to me ladies! My heart is a burnin ruin.i know--silence;however situation demands swift communication. E. u did a criminal act by not showin up.perhaps u did,of ur own accord?if not then i mean criminal on u & on me because w/out u by my side i lacked the courage to go to the very front where Lana gave hugs&kisses(!),autographs & photos & took notes & flowers from the devout flock. --i think i have a new obsession.she defies description;the effect is hypnotic.dreams&memories mix w/ reality like in the dark streets in ' oh say can u see'. she is the concept of Sweet Life embodied in the flesh,knows it & maintains this image.shes not an idealist but an idea.ppl said when they left the altar (for such it was w/ psalms reflected onto the 'rocky' screens): 'it feels more important than just 2 h of good music'.when smthng feels important, it *is*. --Lana has affirmed my loneliness.i lacked the time for a proper search & local library was closed (narrows down the clientele)--fate intervened to give me entirely to Lana,and im glad it did. A sea of tender limbs;a whirlwind of voice&color--they enthralled me 'til she appeared.then the folds fell from my eyes for good.i mean she actually drank a classic white milk-shake right there on stage! She wants to *be* America. no;from now on i will avert my eyes--for soft as their hair & round as their rears may be,ten-thousand ORDINARY girls are not worth Lana's chipped finger-nail.they wanna go shoppin or get a new hair-cut,while Lana wants to build a new continent of the mind.what a pretty head it is--had Lana kissed me i wouldve died on the spot,cold fact,period. --u must say smthng.either of u,or both.i'll stop haunting u now--ive a new target,of a more appropriate size.i cant tell if Lana actually reads her fanmail but somehow i must get in contact w/ her.shed like to know everyone on Earth;u cant fake what i saw in her tonite. --i want to hear from u because of my terrible loneliness w/ all these concepts.kerouac knows what Sweet Life means;i may quote him latwr.but the bastard's dead,doublin my loneliness. Ah well. into the pinkness of nite & sadness of good livin' (i will press on to Hanko,to complete the concept in deafening,barren loneliness),watchin the blue clouds sail by in hotel window on half a double-bed ur ever-sad & ever-happy V.

  6. P.s. About the show itself? The details r ephemeral in Sweet Life,but i will only lasted 2 hours but it felt like two minutes.for the first time in my life i didnt want smthng to end to get to chronicle it.she only sang her new songs & blue vrlvet & knockin on heavens routine in any song except in 'young & beautiful' perhaps a little bit.had u been there E. i wouldve screamed '1,000 miles for OH SAY CAN U SEE!!!'.come to think of it i dont think ive ever screamed. Some ppl took photographs of Lana and the magnificient set (biblical rock-formations w/ huge gold-framed video screens),and i tried too until i realized that miracles cannot be photographed.not w/ my crappy camera at least.but really what i said earlier about depiction applies here w/ grand force. --there was a mad black guitarist,energy personified,who caught IT and held IT for a long while; 'it'~Sweet Life; it is kerouacs concept.i realize now why theres no contest between me & ur man E.--if love is all about properties,which i fingers were made to type,not pluck or pound;its high time i got on w/ what i was put on this sad Earth to do.i will start w/ my letter & finally shut up until then;but please be dears & clear some of my tangled Lonelies.pls do moderate my tortures.ah well no blame anyway but for confirmation: i will realize it's mercy & not personal loveliness.

  7. Oltiin paikalla. Näin sut. Lana oli ihana. Hyvä, että sulla on nyt uusi pakkomielteen kohde. En tullut puhumaan sulle, koska käsität kaiken kuitenkin väärin. Olisin ollut liian kiltti kuitenkin ja sä kuvittelisit taas kaikkea, hehe. Hyvää jatkoa sulle!

  8. Im at a loss for words.there r literally a billion things to say right think i mightve caught a glimpse of u and thought 'that girl looks a bit like E.... nah,impossible'..! Were u with S. by any chance? Because i saw a girl who was her spitting image on my way in @ 19:00. Ah well it doesnt matter now.what matters is that sanasi sulattivat kilometrin jäätä sydämeni päältä.tänks tu juu mä tiedän,et siitä on jotain jäljellä.nyt yksinäisyys tuntuu jälleen hyvältä.älä ikinä muutu;olet täydellinen.syksyyn,hm,hm,kiitos. -Ville P.s. Aint it a waste of a nice body tho? :D perhaps someone will catch me they say in that (terrible) song,vielä on kesää jäljellä.