Embers

Why does it feel so good?
To be remembered as somebody else
and listen to those worn up lines in my worn up speaker phones
The closer the music comes
the closer I feel to you
And that is the smallest moment
and closest to the one
when I fell in love with you

When did a moment turn up to be
a lot more important than a whole life time
I´m trying to catch a butterfly
that I´ve only read about in colouring books
Don´t you just love them
and love to leave them behind
when it´s time to play outside

It´s been my turn to play for such a long time
and now I don´t have a sign that says
"Go that way, you´ll do just fine"
So now I´m trying to figure out my own way
and I don´t know which one I´m more scared of
Is it the wrong way or is it that I´ll find my way out
Maybe I just like to be lost

I hate using that simple word that tells a bit too much
and just in case I might change my mind I ain´t doing such
I´m doing just fine watching the trains go by
thinking being alone might clear my mind
Staying still doesn´t stop the time, though,
so I should keep myself in motion to keep myself alive

Timetables are keeping me safe as they tie me down
but I´ll promise you, I would leave and gas up
if I knew I could just hide and never be found
As if that would be a game that could be played
an option of a thousand mistakes
How can a cruel joke soul have a soulmate?

Lately I´ve been forcing myself to face all the beauty
To look out for the beautiful, the meaningful and fullfilling
and I´m trying to hang in there, hang in here,
wherever I need to be seen hanging
and I can´t help but thinking
Was this ever really meant for me?

My friend is a beautiful soul but I have lost the way
to laugh inside and leave the troubles behind
to build a mellow forest inside
veil everything unnecessary with a green crown
There was a time when nothing could burn that down

Maybe there are embers still, somewhere deep inside
Something new trying to find it´s way to the sunlight
If I really try, maybe I´ll find that butterfly
and colour it with something new and really bright
Maybe if I´d really try, I could make it fly

When did it feel so good?
To feel alive and live
To kiss your neck, feel your need
and let myself weep and still be free
I don´t know who I am or need to be
But someday I´ll have the will
and already I´ve got two feet